Al Habrich's Trail: A Cautionary Tale About Hiking with PMS
Hike 4 | I have always hesitated to mention PMS in any of my writing because it’s a bit of a polarizing topic. Some doctors don’t believe in it. Men don’t get it. Some women have it, some claim they don’t have it, and well, there isn’t another category there. I land in the category of women who get it – and get it in an exceptionally bad way.
Hike #4 | 340m Elevation Gain | 7km Hiked
I have always hesitated to mention PMS in any of my writing because it’s a bit of a polarizing topic. Some doctors don’t believe in it. Men don’t get it. Some women have it, some claim they don’t have it, and well, there isn’t another category there. I land in the category of women who get it – and get it in an exceptionally bad way.
You know that list of symptoms that you might get from PMS? I have them all – and then some. I get everything from weight gain to nightmares, depression to joint pain, and exhaustion to digestive issues. Overnight I will gain five pounds, lose all interest in my regular activities, and spiral into a deep depression. No matter how healthy I feel physically and mentally the rest of the time, this will cut me off at the knees. It feels a lot like a tiny alien has taken control of my body; a tiny drunk asshole alien.
The experience varies from month to month, but I usually spend roughly a week struggling to survive as opposed to truly living. And that’s complete balls – or is it a lack of them? Either way, this was the reality that I woke up to last Tuesday morning and that was how I was feeling when we started to hike the very exposed, Al Habrich’s Trail at noon. I wish I was about to tell you a victory story, but really, it’s more of a cautionary tale about hiking with hormones.
Al Habrich’s trail starts at the top of the Sea to Sky Gondola and climbs steadily up through short wooded areas and longer rock slabs to offer a number of gorgeous vistas and different perspectives of Howe Sound and downtown Squamish. At the highest viewpoint, you are treated to a 270-degree view that looks back down toward the Summit Lodge where the hike begins.
BLISTERS
As Stu likes to say, "Moleskin is the biggest scam perpetrated on the outdoor community." Instead, his magical combination of non-stick gauze cut to size with white medical tape to secure it has saved me time and time again. If you are prone to blisters like I am, I highly recommend you keep some of this stuff in your first aid kit!
We, unfortunately, were forced to start our hike at the hottest time of the day during a heat wave. It was so hot that when our gondola up temporarily halted and turned quickly into a sweltering sauna, I was genuinely concerned for the two elderly couples in it with us. Within minutes they were planning a mutiny and discussing how to pry open the doors. Luckily, we started moving again before things got too desperate. Just a few steps onto the trail and it felt like a neighborhood bully was holding his giant magnifying over our little ant bodies. The trail was dusty and loose, I was sweaty and sticky. And I was having a hard time battling through my existing exhaustion just to get one foot in front of the other. I complained frequently but refused to turn around. As I’m sure you can imagine, this was a great experience for Stu.
We stopped often to drink water in the slightly less hot shade of the single skinny trees we could find on the rock slabs and tried to make light of the situation. No matter how deep I am in the self pitty pool (and that thing is as bottomless as a happy hour pitcher of margaritas), I can still laugh at myself. It's not fun having your personality, your happiness, and your health all tugged out from under you - especially when you have worked hard for them. But I also have immense compassion for Stu who still finds just the right time to poke fun at me and remind me that the sky isn't actually falling.
The fog of my bad mood hadn’t lifted at all and although I tried to will myself into a better headspace, the reality was that I needed to concentrate simply on moving forward. Eventually, my stubbornness paid off and, even through blisters from my packed out old hiking boots, we got to the top of this not-actually-that-challenging-not-actually-that-long-felt-like-death hike. While looking out from the rock bluff we were standing on I realized that I was looking down on The Chief and therefore this was the highest vantage point that I’d seen Squamish from. It briefly occurred to me that there was a message here in that idea of changing perspectives but then my hormones were like ‘screw that hippy shit.’ Instead, I used the little energy I had left to make the trek back down. The heat had completely zapped us by the time we crossed back onto the gravel road would take us to the gondola and we dragged our melted selves into the lodge for overpriced cold drinks like common tourists.
I have given up a quarter of my life to these hormone fluctuations for almost three decades. And even though I came home that afternoon and cried from sheer exhaustion in front of our fan and even though I was miserable for most of our hike, I didn’t simply pull the sheets over my head that morning and will the day away. Instead, I made a memory. It’s a memory of a shitty, dirty, struggle hike – but there’s something in there that feels a little like a win. It feels a little like I gave the hormones that were wearing me like a skin suit the middle finger. And it also feels like maybe next month around this time I might be doing solo hikes. . .
CHOCOLATE CHUNK BANANA BREAD
4 bananas 2 1/2 cups mashed
4 eggs
1/2 cup almond butter
4 tablespoons coconut oil melted (it's been so hot that my coconut oil is already melted)
1/2 cup almond flour
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
pinch of sea salt
6 oz. dark chocolate chopped (I used unsweetened)
Grease one 9x5 loaf pan (or 8"x8" square pan, which is what I used) and preheat the oven to 350ºF.
In a large bowl or mixer, combine the mashed bananas, eggs, coconut oil, vanilla extract and nut butter until fully combined.
Add the coconut flour, cinnamon, baking soda, baking powder, and sea salt to the wet ingredients and mix well. Fold in the chocolate chunks.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and spread it evenly.
Bake in the preheated oven for about 40 minutes if using a square pan, and 50-60 if using a loaf pan. A toothpick inserted into the center should come out clean, and when you press down lightly on the loaf, it should spring back, not stay indented. If a toothpick comes out clean but the loaf isn't springing back, keep it in the oven until it does to ensure it's baked through.
Remove from oven and allow to cool on a wire rack for about 1/2 hour. Flip out onto a cooling rack to finish cooling.
I found this recipe here and only made a couple small changes. Not only is it packed with healthy fats and natural sugars that made it a great snack on the hike, but the chocolate in it helped satisfy my cravings. I love banana bread and was so happy to find a sugar-free and sweetener-free recipe.
Reflections at Brew Lake
Hike 2 | Our drive to the trailhead for Brew Lake was a bit like a live action version of the Telltale Heart. Being a Poe fan, you would think that I would have thoroughly enjoyed a game of ‘what’s making the knocking sound in my truck?’ But by the time we got home, we would have pulled apart everything that could possibly have been loose, only to discover that it was the bike rack. . .
Hike #2 | 322m Elevation Gain | 6km Hiked
Our drive to the trailhead for Brew Lake was a bit like a live action version of the Telltale Heart. Being a Poe fan, you would think that I would have thoroughly enjoyed a game of ‘what’s making the knocking sound in my truck?’ But by the time we got home, we would have pulled apart everything that could possibly have been loose, only to discover that it was the bike rack. . .
The inconspicuous trailhead took us a couple passes to find, giving us ample opportunity to further speculate on what was about to fall off my truck and if it was important. The 6-kilometer (return) hike started in a cut block and gently gained its modest elevation (322 meters) over a number of talus fields, along some small stretches of alpine forest, and through some meadows full of wild flowers. It was a gentle hike, and not once did I feel as though I wanted to curl up like a little wood bug and take a nap while waiting for Stu to return – that was how I spent most of our last hike feeling.
Maybe because the hike wasn’t technical, and I wasn’t digging into the depths of my soul just to complete it, I was captivated by the surroundings the whole way. The views of Armchair Glacier and Black Tusk across the smoke filled hazy sky were familiar markers, the wild flowers of all colours and shapes buzzed with bees and butterflies, and Stu spotted half a dozen frogs along the way. The hike was gentle and when we crested the rise above the basin, the rock rimmed lake was rich in reflections and completely deserted. In the time we spent having lunch we saw a few other people passing through at a distance, too far away to even hear their conversations. Being able enjoy such a stunning area virtually alone on a sunny day was truly a reward in and of itself.
Last week when we hiked Wedgemount Lake we saw nearly 40 people (many of whom were in over their heads – out of water and wearing tennis shoes). The hike was steeper gaining 1100 meters over 6-kilometres (one way). But reaching that stunning turquoise alpine lake had made every exhausted step (and every time I hadn’t curled up under a leafy plant to nap trailside) worth it. While I sat next to Brew Lake enjoying the solitude – Stu had come off night shift again and was taking a nap in the shade – I thought about the different ways we can choose to access our goals.
Sun-dried Tomato Lentil Hummus
1 can of lentils, drained and rinsed
1/2 teaspoon natural sea salt
1/4 cup of tahini paste
1 teaspoon hot smoked paprika
1 teaspoon cumin
3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon garlic oil
1/4 cup sun-dried tomatoes
Place the tomatoes in a small bowl and cover with boiling water. Set aside. Place all the other ingredients in a food processor and blend. Drain tomatoes and add them to the food processor, blend until you are happy with the consistency.
About four years ago I stopped being able to eat garlic and onions. I get violently ill from them now - it truly sucks (for lack of a better word). But I am able to digest garlic oil. Being able to add the flavor back into a few things has been a treat!
It can be hard to find a salami that doesn't have garlic in it, but they are out there. Add in some rice crackers, mini cucumbers, and lentil hummus, and you're all set for lunch by the lake.
Cacao Nib and Sea Salt Sticky Bites
(Makes 12 servings)
1 cup uncooked sticky rice
½ cup uncooked quinoa flakes
2 cups water
2 Tbsp honey
2 Tbsp cacao nibs
½ tsp vanilla extract
Dash of sea salt
Topping
½ tsp sea salt
Combine quinoa flakes, rice, and water with a dash of salt in a rice cooker (I don't have a rice cooker so I cooked this based on the direction on the rice package in a pot on the stove) and cook. Let cool to the touch.
In a medium bowl, combine the cooked rice and oats with the remaining ingredients. Stir to incorporate the flavor throughout the sticky mixture.
Press into an airtight storage container or shape as individual bites. Sprinkle lightly with salt. For hiking, I wrapped each sticky ball in a small amount of saran wrap and placed them in a reusable baggy together. I adapted this recipe from here.
Homemade Chocolate Shot Gels
1 1/2 bananas
1 avocado, pitted and peeled
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3 tbsp clear honey
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract, optional
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
I've been wanting to make my own shot gels for some time, and Stu had the great idea of using this dessert recipe in our reusable 'goo' tubes. I adapted it slightly and it worked perfectly and was a great treat on the hike.
Note: if you have a piping bag (for icing cakes), use it to fill the goo tubes and save yourself some mess.
The challenges I’ve experienced with health over the last few years have felt very much like a steep and loose climb that has threatened to defeat me at every turn. More than once I have had to take a break simply from trying to get better because it is exhausting work between appointments, tests, restricted diets, and not knowing what’s next. And the whole time I’ve been hoping for that beautiful cool alpine pool full of health and answers to be waiting for me at the top. I’ve been holding out for the dramatic finish because I’ve been doggedly putting in the struggle-steps. But this hike to Brew Lake reminded me that there is another way. A gentler way. It’s less glamorous for sure and it can require more motivation because often it feels like the reward is less when the work isn’t as difficult. However, simply finding a sustainable grade will allow me a more consistent path towards getting better. And for every minute that I haven’t gone full-wood-bug, I am moving forward – and in the end that may be a more successful journey.
And just to clarify – I’m only talking about my health. There will be plenty of full-wood-bug moments to come in the next 38 hikes. I’m sure of it.
I Survived Wedgemount Lake
Hike 1 | Monday wasn’t an auspicious day or an anniversary of any kind – it was just the day I decided that I would complete 40 hikes over the next 16 months. For the last nearly five years I have struggled with my health. I have dealt with depression, exhaustion, and digestive issues that have left me feeling powerless over my body. As a result, I decided to make a goal that allowed me to have some control over my physical wellbeing (and as a by-product, my mental wellbeing also).
Hike #1 | 1200m Elevation Gain | 12+km Hiked
Monday wasn’t an auspicious day or an anniversary of any kind – it was just the day I decided that I would complete 40 hikes over the next 16 months. For the last nearly five years I have struggled with my health; experiencing depression, exhaustion, and digestive issues that left me feeling powerless over my body. I have been poked and prodded and have given so much blood that I was starting to know the clinicians by name. Temporary diagnoses have ranged from Chronic Fatigue to PTSD (with many in between), but the biggest problem always remained; without a definitive cause there's no cure. I have tried medications; anti-depressants designed to give me more energy, monthly shots that cost as much as my rent, and so many supplements that I probably could have paid off my student loan. I have seen doctors, specialists, psychiatrists, psychologists, naturopaths, massage therapists, Chinese Medicine Doctors, and more. And while they are all incredible people who do incredible things – I still don’t have much in the way of answers. As a result, I decided to make a goal that allowed me to have some control over my physical wellbeing (and as a by-product, my mental wellbeing also).
The hike to Wedgemount Lake - arbitrarily chosen as my first of forty - is unrelentingly steep as you reach nearly 1200 meters in elevation over only 6 kilometers. Stu came off of a night shift and we immediately packed up and set out. I truly admire that he can work for 36 hours and still be motivated to get outside – as well as calmly deal with black flies while bandaging my blisters. Hiking straight up in the trees, it was hard to feel like we were making progress, but when we caught views of stunningly tall waterfalls or walked out of the forest into massive talus fields it was easy to feel the success of our (slow) efforts. The trail did flatten out for a small section – and if it wasn’t for Stu moving me along (both on the up and the down), I might still be pacing back and forth there now.
TRAIL MIX
gluten-free pretzels
almonds
pepitas (pumpkin seeds)
dried cranberries
cacao nibs
Since we were hiking up on a Monday we passed a lot of weekend traffic that had been camping overnight. Any time we passed someone on the trails before about roughly the ¾ mark they smiled and said hi – and that was all. But as we got closer to the top people were generous in their encouragement, telling us that we were anywhere from 15 – 30 minutes from the lake. One group of guys told Stu that we were only 10 minutes from the top, then looked at my exhausted and dirty face and amended it to “well, depending on how fast you’re moving.”
Cresting the final section and catching the first glimpse of the almost unnatural blue of the glacier-fed lake took away all the pain in my legs. Attaining that goal at the top is not unlike the flashing light they used on Men in Black – or those wild hormones that make women forget the horror of childbirth. Hiking, like childbirth, is definitely Type 2 fun. It’s not fun while you’re doing it, but you’re (mostly) happy you did it in the end. As soon as we stood out on the exposed rock and looked around at the mountain tops, my memory of the last three-and-a-half hours was gone. I had just finished swearing off the stupid goal of doing 40 hikes in the next 16 months – but there I was, in love with the idea all over again.
We found a spot to picnic by the lake. In June, I was diagnosed with SIBO (Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth). The treatment - which has nearly ended all of my digestive issues - includes a very restricted diet. One of the challenges is that much of what I can’t eat – garlic, onions, gluten, sugar, dairy, etc. – are all present in prepackaged freeze-dried backpacking meals. Since I have a few multi-day trips coming up this summer and fall, I’ve started experimenting with making my own meals and we used our day hike as a test for a Pad Thai recipe I've adapted (details below). You can’t test these meal in your own kitchen, because no matter how good they are, they always need to be garnished with a side of exhaustion and mild starvation to really bring out the subtle flavour blends.
PAD THAI
4 oz Flat Rice Noodles
2 Tbsp Coconut Oil
1/2 Tsp Crushed Red Pepper Flakes
1/4 Tsp Ginger Powder
2 Tbsp Honey
2 Tbsp Tamari
2 Tbsp Peanut Butter Powder
2 Tbsp Lime Juice
4 oz Dehydrated Tofu
1/2 Cup Shredded Carrots Dehydrated
1 Tbsp Dried Cilantro
1/4 Cup Chopped Roasted Unsalted Peanuts
I adapted this recipe from here. Since we were just doing a day hike I mixed up the sauce before we left and put them in reusable silicone containers that we have for camping condiments. I also found some single-use packets of coconut oil at Trader Joe's and used those for convenience. I dehydrated my own carrots, cilantro, and tofu in my oven (more info here).
We added boiling water directly to the Ziploc freezer bags that had our food in them and let them sit for about five minutes (until the noodles were soft), then drained off any excess water and added the sauce and chopped peanuts.
The tofu was the only not so great variable of the meal - it came out really chewy. I think adding it directly to the boiling water would have been a better option for rehydrating it.
After a little time enjoying the ambiance of our lunch spot, we headed out – aware that it was late in the day and we wanted to be back to the truck before dark. As we hiked down the first section I was excited to tell the few people we passed that they were near the top. But when we passed a couple over half way down who had full packs and were intending to camp overnight I only smiled as I quickly realized that there simply was nothing encouraging to say. “The trial is exactly like this for the next two hours,” just doesn’t cut it. They were deep in the Type 2 fun.
Days later my legs still hurt. They are so stiff and painful that I tend to just speed while driving now because moving my foot to the brake really requires effort – and I have seriously considered purchasing one of those adaptors that elderly people use to make their toilets taller. But after living with a body full of problems that don’t seem to have causes or solutions, this kind of earned pain feels like success (except for when I have to step off a curb). This hike was about remembering that not all pain in my body needs my attention. The rub on my heal that created a blister needed my attention because it was something we could fix. But the ache in my legs on the hike down was just something that I had to get through to complete my goal. So much of hiking and being outdoors is about making peace with being uncomfortable. A lesson that may eliviate some stress in my day-to-day life as well.